mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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