bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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