He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
whose parrot is this?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
