someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
