you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
