His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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