win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
