Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Fuck appropriateness.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The power of my boobs compel you
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
