is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
