the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
