I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
