nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
