He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
