when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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