The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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