I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
