The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
