Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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