so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
