i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Randomize
