We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
