Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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