You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Drake has all the answers
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
