I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
