I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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