Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
