hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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