We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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