If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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