I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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