im gay
i know
yea but for you.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
