Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
