Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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