just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
try to milk me bitch
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
