No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
