Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
