I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
