yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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