He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
