; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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