You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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