apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
