the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
