"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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