I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
