I'm really into asian looking animals
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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