Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
