I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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