Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
