I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
