Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
