420 ftw
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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