You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
