He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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